


The Curse of the Fabergé Egg

by meandminniemcg



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alternate Universe - No Voldemort, Anal Sex, Bonding, Dark Artifacts, Don't copy to another site, Fuck Or Die, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-11
Updated: 2018-12-11
Packaged: 2019-09-16 13:40:17
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,155
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16955088
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/meandminniemcg/pseuds/meandminniemcg
Summary: Remus should never have allowed Sirius to help him with his job clearing out Muggle houses. He should know Sirius acts before thinking.





	The Curse of the Fabergé Egg

Remus

“Moony! Moony! Moony! Moony!” Heavy steps come down the stairs from the attic. While ‘Padfoot’ is the ideal name for his dog form, in his human form Sirius would more appropriately be called ‘Leadfoot.’ But his voice is the exact human version of an excited dog’s playful noises. It should be off-putting, but instead he draws me in every time. And I don’t want to reflect on why I’m embarking on the weirdest adventures just because he makes puppy dog eyes at me. It would only depress me to do so.

“Moony, look at what they had in their attic. It almost looks like a magical heirloom.” He stands in front of me, pulls my hand up and places something resembling a cheap imitation of a fabergé egg into my hand.

Magic zings through us like an electric shock, making every part where we touch each other glow. Fuck! Shouldn’t a Pureblood such as Sirius know better than to handle possibly magical objects so carelessly? The artifact most likely bonded us together, with whatever the fuck bond it conveys.

I feel as if somebody has knocked the air out of my lungs. The moment I have control over my breath again, I yell at him. “What the fuck, Padfoot? Are you mad?”

Simultaneously, I hear a sheepish “sorry” from him. And again, those puppy dog eyes. I feel the wolf growl at me for being angry with Sirius. Even when he had told Snivellus how to find me, the wolf had sided with him. But I don’t want to let go of my anger.

“Sirius Black. You are the most exasperating person I have ever met. And I can’t understand why I haven’t dumped you along the way of our friendship to make Frank Longbottom my best friend.” I sigh.

“Nah, too boring to be your best friend. No Marauder spirit in him.” Sirius says smugly.

“Don’t overestimate yourself.” But he’s right. As much as Frank is a decent bloke, I never feel that tingle of adventure around him, and as much as I loathe it, I’m addicted to the tingle I only feel around Sirius. Perhaps I’m still the adrenaline junkie the other houses always accuse Gryffindors of being.

Or I might be a Sirius-Black-junkie. Better not think of the implications. Better pretend that I didn’t see him with his girlfriends and wish I was in their place. Better think of what to do in the situation. I pace the floor like the wolf does when it’s alone during a full moon. Bonds are a difficult, sometimes dangerous matter, and as much as Sirius likes being my friend, he definitely won’t want to be bonded to me with a betrothal bond. What if he finds the one woman he wants to stay with but can’t marry her because he’s betrothed with an unbreakable betrothal to his very platonic--thank you very much--friend, Remus?

All because he was so bored during his sick leave, due to partly drained magic, and he wanted to help me with my job clearing out Muggle houses. Anyway, it’s typical of my luck to come across the one house where the deceased owner was actually a wizard or witch living among Muggles. _James will laugh his arse off. Wait – James … Lily!_

“Lily!” I shout.

“While Lily may be more credible as a best friend, it would imply no more pub nights because remember, Lily and James are married and have a cute three-year-old called Harry.” My obnoxious best friend chuckles. And his chuckle almost quenches my anger. Almost.

“No, idiot! Lily is a curse breaker. She might know how to un-bond us.”

“Oh!”

I send my Patronus to Lily.

  
An hour later, Lily has arrived on the scene after bringing Harry to a playdate with Frank and Alice’s son Neville. She levitates the fabergé egg bonding object out of the house and tells us to follow her, scolding Sirius all the way to her testing laboratory. She works at the Oxford Merlin institute, as an assistant for the renowned scientist Samira Shafiq, head of the curse breaking department.

Professor Shafiq and Lily run tests on the object for three hours, and Sirius falls asleep on the sofa where we’re told to sit and wait, his head in my lap. I feel like running my fingers through his hair but I figure that must be the bond acting up. Then again, I can’t really claim not to be very fond of his hair and his looks. Sirius can wear clothes in which others would look like rentboys, whereas he always looks absolutely gorgeous. As I get drowsy, too, listening to Sirius’ soft snoring, Professor Shafiq and Lily turn to me. 

“Mr. Lupin, who gave the object to whom?” the professor asks. She’s a stern woman who reminds me a bit of McGonagall.

“Sirius gave it to me. What difference does it make?” The wolf wants to claw at me. Whatever it is, why can’t it have happened further away from the December full moon, not when it’s just one night away?

“Remus,” Lily grabs my right hand, the one that’s further away from Sirius. “Sirius bonded you to himself with a _‘nube ut vivas’_ bond. If the both of you don’t have sexual intercourse within two weeks, you will die.”

“Then I’d better write my will. I can’t force Sirius to sleep with me. Why the fuck do people make artifacts like that?” I don’t even have the energy to raise my voice.

“Remus... Sirius will definitely do anything if it’s necessary to keep you alive.” Lily gives me a strict look.

In panic, I draw my wand and cast a spell on Lily and Professor Shafiq, making them unable to tell anybody. If they try, only gibberish will come across their lips. Then I levitate Sirius off me, run to the toilet and sick up violently. Evidently, I _can_ survive not being in the same room as Sirius so I Apparate home, sending Lily and Sirius a Patronus message that I needed to go and feed my owl. Then I pour myself a glass of firewhiskey and sit in the sparsely lit room drinking.

  
Sirius

When I wake up, there’s a pillow under my head instead of Remus’ thigh. “Where’s Remus?” I ask Lily, who looks at me with frightened eyes.

“Gone. Para dapa Loko mi.” She presses a hand to her mouth.

“So, what will the bond do to us if Remus flees?” I ask Professor Shafiq.

“Tana koko lari. You will be fine. Kibakaba bobo.” She looks sad. Something is wrong with it. I may not be the cleverest wizard but this matter stinks.

I pace the floor, and my thoughts get more and more confused. I’m bonded to Remus in some way, but he can simply run away without one of us fainting or being compelled directly to where the other one is. That’s against all the things I know about bonds. Something is completely fucked up here. Finally, I succeed at getting a sensible thought into my mind. Maybe not the best one, Remus is the one who thinks reasonably, I’m just impulsive.

I send my Patronus to Remus; “Moony, what the fuck.”

“It’s a distance bond, okay? We can’t see each other again,” his wolf Patronus says in a sad tone. Lily’s reaction looks very off for that. Her eyes go big with shock.

“Lily, you can’t speak about it? Can you show me, yes or no?” I ask her.

“I’ll try to. We need to find a way around it.” I can hear equal doses of fear and determination in her voice.

“What Remus said – it was a lie.” I state my hypothesis.

Lily nods.

“Can the bond do harm?” I ask.

She nods again.

“But not to me?”

“Not to you.”

“He wouldn’t run away from responsibility if it could harm a third party.” We both know that it’s true. He cares about others. Just not enough about himself – Merlin’s sagging balls! The bond can harm him. And he prefers to let it harm him over something that could happen if he stays close to me. My two cleverest friends can’t do anything to help me figure it out.

But I must.

Prongs. He may not be cleverer than me, but he’s not in as much panic as I am. I could bear any damage to myself, but damage to Remus - I’d rather die than see that. It’s true, I have a dog mind. I feel lost without my pack, and most of all I couldn’t live without Remus. I send my Patronus, and James Apparates here as fast as he can.

“Honey!” Lily flings herself into his arms. “Please, cast a Legilimens on me.”

  
Remus

Through my drunken stupor I hear the sound of Apparating from outside my run-down apartment. Then a whispered _Alohomora_ , so silently I wouldn’t hear it if it wasn’t the night before the full moon.

But also, maybe I’m dreaming. Because it's Sirius’ scent that I can smell. And that can’t be. I told him of the distance bond.

A rustling sound comes from the Sirius-scented dream. Like changing clothes. Maybe I’ll have a few nice wet dreams before I die.

“Incarcerous.” I never thought that one of my last wet dreams would be that kinky. My hands are tied to the headboard, and even if I wasn’t too drunk to cast, my magic is contained in this wet dream by my secret crush of … well, ever since the first time I saw him when we were eleven.

Maybe I can die dreaming a wet dream.

The mattress dips beside me. Then nothing happens, and after a longer wait I drift back to sleep.

  
I wake up again and feel something heavy on my stomach. I try to move my hands, but they are still tied to the headboard. As I force my eyes open, a black head of hair appears in my view.

“Good morning, Moony. Need a Hangover Potion?” Sirius. What’s _he_ doing here? He should have stayed away. I pull at the ropes that tie my hands to the headboard.

“Sorry, Moony, but I can’t let you run to your death,” he tells me, stroking his hand over my cheek, then dripping the hangover potion gradually on my tongue, following it by stroking my cheek again. Such a soft touch! If only…

“You won’t have much choice in the matter. I can’t…”

“Would sex with me be so horrible?” He asks me, looking so much like a beaten dog.

“No! But you’re...fucking straight. I lost count of your girlfriends before we left Hogwarts. And it-- it'll kill me to experience only once how good it can be, and then watch you leave me for the next woman. The wolf doesn’t accept one-offs. And I’ve been… in love with you for years now.”

“Shh,” he mutters and then closes my mouth with his own. Before I realise what’s happening, his tongue is inside my mouth; his kiss tastes of aniseed candies, the type Prongs, Prongslet and Lily brought from their holiday in France.

Arousal floods through me like it never has before. He un-buttons my shirt, kisses following his hands. I want to say no but I can’t. It'll kill me when he turns his back on me. But maybe it’s good not to die as a virgin. I hear myself keen “Please, please, please!”

He vanishes my trousers and my boxers, and instantly licks and sucks at my erection. _Fuck!_ And I thought wanking was hot. 

After a while he picks up his wand from the bedside cabinet, casts something at himself and straddles me, slowly sinking down around my length. _Ahhhhh!_ It’s … it’s … my eloquence and my ability to think zone out and I’m just feeling and hearing, tasting his kisses and smelling his scent. I come into his narrow heat and gasp for breath, feeling his come pulsing over my stomach and chest. So good. He eases off me and lies down by my side, his head on my chest, his arm holding me tight.

Again, every inch of us that is touching, begins to zing with magic. And with bliss.

“Moony, was it true what you said, before we did it? Have you really fancied me for years?” I guess this is the moment he tries to let me down gently. But I can’t lie to him.

“Yes. I’ve been attracted to you since the first time I saw you, and I don’t think it will ever change. But don’t mind me.” I try to brace myself for what will come now.

“Thank Merlin! Because you just spoilt me for anyone else. With the others... all I felt like was ‘nope. Never again. But with you… I just want to feel you inside me again and again and again. Just, this time, I’d like you to touch me too.”


End file.
